One of the great gifts that comes with the work I do is that people share some big and tender questions with me. I’m always humbled by the experience of hearing them, because it’s such a vulnerable thing to open up and share the stuff we are wrestling with. I received an email recently from [...]
Moms Like Crosswords, and the NYT is ON IT.
Dear New York Times Crosswords marketing team, As an avid NYT Crossword aficionado, you can probably imagine the delight with which I opened your email with the subject line, “Announcing the Mother’s Day Collection.” The thought sequence sparked by that subject line alone went something like this: OMG, imagine if on Mother’s Day, my partner [...]
What Men (and Everyone, Really) Can Do To Support Gender Equity in Tech
A thoughtful reader recently asked about the role of male allies in solving the gender imbalance in the tech industry: As a guy in the tech industry, I honestly don’t know how to fix most of the issues… I do want to help, but like many other guys I don’t know the best way to [...]
Diversity Messes With Your Culture… And That’s a Good Thing
One of the real challenges of diversifying your team is that – at the risk of stating the obvious – your workplace is going to feel different, because it will include more difference. And that’s not always a comfortable feeling. I see small companies struggle with this all the time. For a small team, every [...]
Once And For All: Tech is Not a Meritocracy
This piece originally appeared on Quartz, but I’m quite proud of it, so I’m republishing it here. I’ve had it with meritocracy. Not because it’s not a wonderful concept. Of course it is. My problem is with the belief many people seem to hold that the world (or some part of it) is already a meritocracy, [...]
How to Fire Someone with Compassion and Respect
A note about this post: None of what follows is a legal opinion; I’m not a lawyer, and I haven’t run this past a lawyer to see whether I’ve held to the letter of the law in my recommendations. I recommend you consult legal advice before terminating any employee, whether for cause or otherwise. My [...]
Moving Into Purpose: When Going With the Flow Stops Working
Yesterday, I spoke at Ubizo, a conference for small business owners workshopping business challenges with peers and mentors. This is the written version of the talk I gave, which is a little different than the version I actually gave. I was asked to speak about a challenge I overcame in my entrepreneur’s journey. It’s about [...]
On Marissa Mayer’s Disavowal of Feminism
I wrote a short, and necessarily incomplete, piece for Quartz on Marissa Mayer’s statement that she’s not a feminist. You can find it here. I struggled to write it, because I knew I was leaving so much context out – and therefore leaving myself open to misinterpretation. So I am expanding on it here, to [...]
Should You Take (or Keep) the Job? Use This Checklist to Decide
Two days ago, I was copied on an email from someone who is struggling with whether or not to stay at a company where she is the only woman, and the environment is fairly hostile. She wrote seeking advice: Should I stay, should I go, should I try to recruit more women and create a [...]
Inclusivity Is Not A Double Standard: Why Forbes is Wrong about Women in Tech
Everybody’s talking about Etsy’s success in recruiting women engineers – they’ve increased the number of women in their engineering department by 500% in one year – and that’s awesome to see. I wrote a post about them last summer, discussing the key lessons I thought other tech companies could learn from their approach, and it [...]


